Heatherwritesablog

Dark spider-like Russians save lives

July 14, 2009
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Black Widow DoctorMuch like the infamous Marvel superheroin Black Widow, my Infectious Disease Doctor had red hair, a thick eastern European accent, and a keen sense for finding danger.  The physician equivalent of Black Widow’s traditional martial artist/sniper-spy training is my Infections Disease Doctor’s training in discovering curious bacteria and figuring out how to kick its ass, whether with martial arts or some serious antibiotics.  My Black Widow doctor knew what she was doing, and thank goodness for that, because if she didn’t there would be no heatherwritesablog for you to read!

As I alluded to in a previous post, the bacteria in my body was not acting like it normally would.  It was in disguise, in evil form; a Russian Spy!  Haemophilous ParaInfluenza (b) normally affects the respiratory system, causing a cough or pneumonia before it starts knocking on the heart’s door causing stupid high fevers and bad feelings all around.  Without any warning, the elusive Russian spy bacteria in me wasted no time and shot straight to my heart.

Most doctors would have been thrown off by my lack of symptoms, maybe they would have ruled out this bacteria from the start.  But not my Black Widow doctor, no!  She could recognize a spy from a three-day-old blood test.  In this episode the superhero Black Widow doctor figured out the evil Russian spy bacteria’s plan, and squashed it like you would squash a regular spider on the wall with your flip flop.  Except she didn’t do the squashing, that would have been distasteful.  Instead she called upon a friend. A charismatic, confident, box-office dominating friend…

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Frodo and Sam succeed again

July 7, 2009
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Not too long ago I had two honorable sidekicks.  I called them Frodo and Sam.  They had a very important task; an epic quest of sorts; to prevent any trace of bacteria from seeking refuge in my heart.

For 50 days the dynamic duo was with me.  Disguised as two tubes of a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line, Frodo and Sam entered my left arm through a vein in my arm, which went through my shoulder and almost reached my heart.

Frodo and Sam in my arm

Frodo (the red tube) was responsible for injecting courage, strength and Rocephin into my body. Sam (the purple tube) was holding the map, interpreting progress of the courage, strength and Rocephin by drawing blood for lab tests.

With each day that passed, they brought me closer to a full recovery.  At the end of their 50 day journey, they left me, to return to the Shire.  I am grateful for their bravery and miss them like I would miss the last little section of my pinky if it was ever cut off, which I hope it never is.


Beware of expensive things

July 7, 2009
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What is terrifying, already discounted, and framed on my wall as a threatening reminder to all who fall in love with me?

my heart!

My hospital bill!

Consider this; the average female heart weighs 8 ounces.  Hi, I’m an average girl.  8 ounces of gold is worth approximately $136,000. You can see that I have a heart more than twice as valuable as a heart of gold!  So, unless you have a couple of bricks of gold handy, be very careful with my heart because if you break it you buy it, and then… you broke!


About author

Hi! My name is Heather and I write a blog :) I hope you enjoy!

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